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Lady Gwynn of the Book (Alt-Gwynn): Hello Torg. You are looking well! We heard about your recent battle. Torg: And you were wondering if I was trying to restart a resistance. Alt-Gwynn: Wondering, yes. But that is not all. Torg: I've played that game. I'm trying a new one. -- </Flashback> Caption: Days of the Old Resistance (Torg is sitting at an umbrella table with Alt-Gwynn and Alt-Freaky Fred; behind them are two food stands: One says "Rice cakes" and the other says "Sugar Free Cakes and Pies") Torg: After weeks of hardcore training(*) we are ready to help the people who suffer under demon oppression! -- Caption: *Training flashback with Lady Gwynn of the Book (Close-up of Alt-Gwynn show lightening bolts emanating from her left hand) (Far shot of Alt-Gwynn show those lightening bolts busting up wooden replicas of demons) <TZZT> -- Caption: Fred and Corningsworth with Hammer (Corningsworth is Fred's polite parasite) (Close-up shows Fred holding a large mallet) (Far shot shows Fred smashing wooden replicas of demons) <*SMASH!*> <*CRASH!*> <*BASH!*> Alt-Fred: We strike as one! -- Caption: Torg and Unholy Evil Death Bringer aka Chaz (Close-up shows Torg with a bandana covering his mouth and holding a glowing Chaz up) (Far shot shows Torg slicing wooden replicas of demons with Chaz) Chaz: Great. Now I'm a wood-chipper. -- Torg (leans back in his chair): All we await now is an opportunity! Unidentified Dimension of Lame character standing in front of the Sugar Free Cakes and Pies stand: Herm. What to get? What to get? -- (Another unidentified DOL character wearing a shirt with a peace sign crashes upside down into the stand) <**CRASH!**> -- First Unidentified DOL Character: *Just cake please.* Torg: That didn't take long! -- Unidentified demon: Die, Mortals! (Fred jumps up with his mallet): *Eat me!* -- (Half way through the jump Fred has a change of heart -- his face showing fear and regret) -- (Fred brings down the mallet on the demon's foot) <**CRUNCH>** -- Demon: **Yow! Owie Ow-Ow! OW!* (hurt star emanates from his foot) <HOP HOP HOP> -- (Fred runs away in horror) Fred: *What have I done?!?* Corningsworth (Fred's parasite): Fred. You *monster!* Lady Gwynn: You poor demon! I'll heal that right up for you! (Torg stands simmering in the background) </End flashback> | Flag | ||||
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Gwynn: Those jerks used _your_ money to get first class tickets and stuck you in coach? Zoë: They paid me back and agreed to paint my apartment! Not a bad deal. -- (Torg, wearing a beret, and Riff in Zoë's apartment; there is a huge painting of Zoë -- naked -- on the far wall) Riff: I'm done with the bedroom, Torg... Riff: *Wow!* Torg: My masterpiece! -- Torg: I got inspired. Do you think she'll like it? Riff: I'll go stand on the other side of the room now. -- Zoë: Hi guys! I'm ba...(*) -- Torg: Hi Zoë! What do you think? -- (Zoë stares in shock) -- Torg: Wow! I didn't think you would be speechless over it! Don't worry about the window being in the way! I painted over the blinds! (Torg rolls down the blinds) <**KLACKITY!**> -- (Zoë stares at the artwork on the blinds (presumably her breasts)) Zoë (thinking): <skull and crossbones surrounded by a black cloud> -- (Zoë chases the boys out of the room with a paint roller) Zoë: ****GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!**** <**WAP WAP WAP**> -- (Torg and Riff outside) Torg: That's gratitude for you. I hope she at least appreciates what I did in the bathroom. Riff: What was that? -- Torg: I did a painting of Rodin's 'The Kiss' on the ceiling. I even used pictures of her parents as a reference for a personal touch. I got inspired! -- (Zoë opens the door to the bathroom and turns on the light) <**CLICK!**> Zoë: *****AAAAAH!***** -- Riff: I think you need to think more before acting on your inspirations. Torg: I think paint-fumes just go straight to my brain. | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Like this rocket-launcher you dropped when you first arrived? -- Riff (now holding the rocket launcher): Gimmie that. Torg (now holding the remote): Quit it. What's that remote for? Riff: One last surprise for Hereti-Corp. Absolute last-resort stuff. Torg: *You wired the place to blow?* -- (Cloney gets ready to strike from the ceiling) -- Cloney (aka Aylee): Then you better hit that button before I count to three! -- Cloney (aka Aylee): ONE! (Cloney bats down Gwynn; Oasis leaps up to Cloney in a fool's attack; Riff ducks; the remote is in the air) -- Cloney: TWO! (Sasha is running away against the wall; Cloney bats at Oasis like an annoying insect; Torg is knocked off his feet; Riff tries to take aim) -- (Oasis is slammed against Sasha and the wall) -- (Oasis drops to the ground, Sasha stares in shock) -- (Sasha slumps over) --- (Empty wall where Sasha was standing) - Cloney (off panel): THREE! - (Riff fires the rocket-launcher; Torg grabs for the remote (which is off panel) --- (The rocket hits Cloney, surrounding her in a fireball) -- (A claw comes out of Cloney's smoking shell) -- (Cloney swats at Riff, hitting him in the leg) -- Cloney: Um... THREE AND A HALF! (She tries to Swipe Torg who ducks behind the desk) -- (Riff, Sasha, Oasis and Gwynn lie motionless and bleeding on the floor) -- Cloney (crouching by the desk that Torg is hiding behind): Push the button Torg. I'm sure my shell can take whatever Riff planned on dishing out. Can you say the same for the friends who aren't quite dead yet? | Flag | ||||
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(Torg is chained, head and hands in stocks, with one hand replaced by a chainsaw) -- Torg (narrating): A demon named *Kizke* took my friend Gwynn, and then took my hand. (a K'Z'K-possessed Gwynn; Torg stares at his hand, which is green and warty) Torg's hand (sticking out a tongue): Pbbbt. -- Torg (narrating): So I traded up for a chainsaw. (Torg holds a rifle in one hand, a chainsaw replacing the other; monster eyes and fangy teeth visible in the dark background) <***BZZZZ***> -- Torg (narrating): I managed to blast Kizke into the past using the *Book of E-Ville*.... -- Torg (narrating): ...but it took me with it. -- Panel Title: TORG vs. THE ARMY OF K'Z'K -- Zoë: *That's not how it happened!* Torg: *Who's telling this story?* Bard: She's right, you don't have a chainsaw for a hand. Torg: You don't even know what a chainsaw is, buddy! -- Bard: Unless the word "chainsaw" means "hands like a lady" Torg: *Hey!* Zoë: Torg, quit the Hollywood embellishing and tell it straight. -- Torg (narrating): *Whatever.* We are from the future. We had this Time Machine, and it malfunctioned and sent us here instead of the year 2000. -- Bard (rolling his eyes): Oh, *this* version is believable. Torg: OK, how about: "We're from a far away land sent here by leprechauns." Bard: Whatever. -- Torg (narrating): There were men on horses waiting for us, like we were expected. -- Torg (narrating): Out of nowhere, masked riders scooped us up and rode off with us. -- King Sighard: Kill the Mercians! Osric: Be careful, King Sighard! You might hit the "Storm Breaker"! -- Sighard: Osric, *you forget your place.* Did your prophecy include her befriending my mortal enemy? *Consorting with the Warlord of Mercia?* -- Sighard: *Fire!* (arrows fly) -- (Three arrows strike the knight and horse carrying Zoë) -- Zoë (fallen on the ground, arrows flying above her): *Torg!* -- Torg (still on a horse, a knight's shield above him stopping two arrows): *Zoë!* -- Mercian knight: He's trying to leap from the horse! Has he gone daft? Mercian knight #2: Careful how you refer to our ruler. We *must* bring him home! -- Trent knight: They have eluded us, my King. Sighard: At least I have *this* one to vent my anger upon! -- Osric: She is the *Storm Breaker!* As foretold she will do battle with the demon Kizke, who plagues our land! Sighard: *This beggar woman will do battle with the executioner's axe!* -- Title: Sluggy Freelance presents | The Storm Breaker Saga I | The Warlord | Flag | ||||
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One-person apartment, decorated and shiny, (Torg's apartment, decorated for Christmas; Torg is sleeping on the table) -- Caption: Zoë and Gwynn snuggled in the lone bed. -- Caption: Under the table Riff rested his head. Riff: ZZz -- Caption: Over the table Torg dreamt of the pub. (Torg, sleeping on table, dreaming of Crystal holding a pitcher of beer) -- Caption: While Aylee lounged comfortably in the bathtub. Alyee: ZZZ -- Caption: When there arose such a clattery noise, <***BAM BAM BAM***> <**ding dong**> (Torg and Riff are abruptly awakened; Riff bangs his head on the table) -- Caption: Everyone ran to find... Santa-bun-bun? /With toys?/ (Bun-Bun is in a Santa hat holding a sack full of presents; Kiki is behind him wearing bell laden antlers) Bun-Bun: What? You were expecting maybe the Easter bunny? | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg: Back to eat another tree? I wish you'd pick a different one; this one's kind-of homey. Aylee: Why are you still around, Torg? You're making my people less cheery! -- Torg: I was just thinking about things. Like up on the space station. Here and there, children playing and laughing... -- Torg: This alien species shows up and wipes them to near extinction, but the children eventually develop this boredom of being scared or something. -- Aylee: Yeah. I don't think I want to eat children. Torg (glaring): Just the grown ups then? Aylee: It's not about my appetite anymore. I'm appreciated here, Torg! I *belong!* I feel it in my /*heart!*/ I've also got a duty. A responsibility to my kind. -- Torg: Maybe I do too. I mean I have a comm-thingy right here. If I warn Secretary Rammer he'll probably toast this site from space to protect the garden. And you, being lookout flyer, would be target number one. -- Torg: So now you must be considering killing me. The best way to ensure not only a victory for your people but your own survival. An easy choice, right? -- Aylee (glowering): Thanks, Torg! I'm going to be up all night thinking in a tree too. -- Torg: Friends, family. What's convenient, what's right, what's wrong. Tough choices. What do we do? I guess we'll know by morning. -- (Flash over to home dimension where a shirtless Riff labors in the sun with a shovel and stops to look painfully at an object in his hand labeled "BOOM"; and Schlock standing by a diagram of the Dimensional Flux Agitator wringing his hands) -- Aylee: /Orrrrr,/ you could just do what I told you and go home, Torg! You said you didn't want to get involved in this world. You don't have to open the portal at a specific time anymore. Open it, go home, close it, and the choice is out of your hands. -- Torg: Let's put aside the fact that once the return portal is used there'll be no way for you to follow me back, no way for me to find you again. -- Torg (angrily): With everything on the line you really expect me to run away? Is that the way you think I am? -- </Flashbacks> (Zoë chasing Torg and Riff with a paint roller) Torg (with a bucket of paint on his head): /*RUN AWAY!!!*/ -- (Torg and Riff running away from weapons fire) Torg: /*RUN AWAY!!!*/ <**ZAP**> <**ZAPPO**> <**ZIPPY**> <**ZOT**> -- (Squintyhoyo pointing after Riff and Torg) Squintyhoyo: *After them!* Torg and Riff (off panel): ***RUN AWAY!*** -- (Aylee, Torg and Zoë fearfully holding onto each other in the back of a pickup truck) Torg: /*RUN AWAY!*/ <***KA-KLICK***> -- (Lady (Alt-)Gwynn, Torg (with Chaz), Alt-Zoë, and Alt-Bun-Bun running in the Dimension of Lame's sewer) Torg: ***RUN AWAY!*** <**SPLISH!**> <**SPLASH!**> <**SPLISH!**> <**SPLASH!**> -- Torg (running away from Homogenize): /*Run away very quickly!!!!*/ -- (Superhero Halloween: with Torg (dressed as SuperTorg) and Riff (dressed as BatMan) leading the um, charge?) Torg: /*Run away!*/ </End flashbacks> -- Aylee: And then there was the time when that mean family of geese... Torg: All right, *all right* already, point taken! | Flag | ||||
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Crystal: What happened to you guys? Riff: Gwynn's just in a mood. Nothing to fear. Crystal: Where's the bar? I brought one of my new mixed drinks! Torg and Riff: **EEYAAAAA!** -- Crystal (angry): Funny, guys. Riff: What is it? Crystal: My new special pimento-olive wine-cooler! -- Riff: Holy "Turpenwine", Batman! Torg: Good God, Crystal! I think the fumes ate half my brain! Bert: *That'll strip oils off my canvases!* | Flag | ||||
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-- Min (holding up the PSPuny): Plus I get to play with this! /Bye!/ -- Torg (wearing a blue shirt with "Stold" written on it): No food? *No potty?!?* Not that you need one without the other... Gwynn (wearing a green shirt with "Borowd" written on it): She's a lot nicer about us invading her personal space thoroughly when Riff's around. -- Zoë (off panel; from inside Crystal's "BAR"): Riff, I've got to get out of that house! Where are you guys living again? -- Riff: Er, um, no place. Listen, you can't leave, Zoë! We need you there! Zoë: But I miss you guys! I was wrong to abandon you! And the cloners smell like anchovies *all* the *time!* -- Riff: It's more important that you keep them away from Aylee. Just a sample of her could spawn a race that would destroy all life on our planet. Have you secured the basement from prying eyes? Zoë: That was tricky. It almost backfired! -- </Flashback #1> (Basement entrance is chained, with a sign above it saying "Women's Changing Room" and a sign to the side of it saying "Keep Out!") Bill and Phil: **OOOOOOOooooh!** (Bill is holding a drill and Phil is holding bolt cutters) Zoë (hiding in the nearby bushes; annoyed): *Creepy cloner geeks.* </End flashback #1> -- </Flashback #2> ("Changing Room" sign replaced with "Feminine Hygiene Area") Bill and Phil: **OOOOOOOooooh!** Zoë (hiding in the nearby bushes; creeped out): /*CREEPY cloner geeks!*/ </End flashback #2> -- </Flashback #3> ("Come in!" replaces "Keep out!" and "General Hygiene Area (You know, showers, toothbrushes, deodorant)" replaces "Feminine Hygiene Area") Bill and Phil (running away; dropping the drill and bolt cutters): /**yaaaAAAAAAAA!**/ Zoë (leaning back in the nearby bushes; smiling): Creepy cloner geeks. </End flashback #3> -- Riff: Just keep an eye on them, Zoë. I want to know what their "special project" is going to be. And why they need to use our home as a secret lab... -- Zoë (as Riff looks frozen): Riff? -- Zoë: Riff, are you OK? Riff (crying): **I WANT A SECRET LAB!** -- Zoë (patting Riff's back): /Shhh!/ It's OK. <PAT> <PAT> Riff (face down on the table): I... had a budget once! Zoë: I remember. It was very nice. | Flag | ||||
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=== Ash (aka Andy) + 2 avengers (off panel): **YEARGH!** Jester of Death (aka "Joe Sunday"): I never win nuthin' (From the 10.31.01 comic) -- (The following dialog is clipped (edited to fit your screen)): DJ Sniff-N-Scratch: *HEY-HEY, PEOPLE! YOU'RE DANCING TO THE GROOVITUDE OF DJ SNIFF-N-SCRATCH AT CLUB BADDITUDINALS! REMEMBER TO TIP YO' SERVERS! YOW!* Gwynn: Have I mentioned recently how great it's been to have you back? [NOTE: The blonde girl holding her nose while she's dancing near the center of the panel is trillian, aka Thyla] (From the 01.19.03 comic) -- Kiki: You do such neat tricks! You're the neatest shadow ever! Groundhog's shadow (now Bun-Bun's): Thank you, Kiki! (The Groundhog's shadow is doing a shadow form of Thyla while Bun-Bun fumes) (From the 4.26.02 comic) -- Joe Sunday: Someone's looking for a fight! Shirt Guy Tom: Bring it on, lightweight! Pete: Yes! An ultimate battle! To the winner, the spoils of the week! To the loser, death by pack of rabid puffin-dingoes! - Joe Sunday: "Puffin-Dingoes? Pete: Hideous genetic mutations. Did I mention they were rabid? - Joe Sunday: I was thinking we'd just arm wrestle for it. Pete: Arm wrestle first. *Then* rabid puffin-dingoes! Shirt guy Tom: Aren't you supposed to be on vacation or something? (From the 03.16.02 comic) | Flag | ||||
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=== (Panel 7 from 12/23/2004 (colored); Kiki in a Santa hat; Riff in the middle of wrapping Torg's present; Gwynn in reindeer antlers, helping herself to the punch; and Zoë bringing out a fresh batch of cookies fresh from the oven; Christmas lights lighting up the scene) | Flag | ||||
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Gwynn: My friends will put it together and come for me -- Zoë: I've been having weird dreams lately! Riff (head down, almost embarrassed): Me too. Torg: Yeah, ever since I lost my PS2, I've been dreaming about nothing but fighting games. Like, take last night, for example! -- Caption: Sluggy Freelance presents: | Torg Dream Fighters Anime Dream Zoë: I'm very naughty today. -- Anime Dream Sasha: *You killed my fish!* Anime Dream Zoë: Why does that pickle you? Game Voice: **START!** -- Anime Sasha and Zoë begin fighting, with Anime Sasha landing the first two blows) <**thuck**> <**thuck**> -- Game Voice: **BLOCK!** -- <**BAP**> <**BAP**> <**WAP**> -- (Anime Zoë lands a winning blow with her foot) <***KEEK***> -- (With Anime Sasha on the ground, Anime Zoë lands on her back to finish the fight) Game Voice: **DOUBLE DAMAGE!** <***KA-RUNCH***> -- Anime Dream Zoë: Now I fight for wisdom! Game Voice: **Battle Over!** -- Anime Dream Oasis: Your words scratch the back of my eyes! Anime Dream Zoë (fear in her eyes): *YOU!?!* -- Anime Dream Oasis: My feet hurt... -- Anime Dream Oasis: ***...WITH DESTINY!*** <****STOMP****> -- (Anime Oasis and Anime Zoë begin fighting) Game Voice: **START!** -- Riff: *That's awesome!* Zoë: That's offensive! And what kind of plot was that? And the dialogue! Riff: *Right!* Never played a fighting game before, huh? Zoë: I'll quit talking about dreams if you do the same on video games! Deal? === Note: {} denotes K'Z'K "font" | Flag | ||||
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Carver: *How can you be up and about on your own?* -- Carver: Obsidian Teknokon, I command you to power down! -- Carver (upset): *Why aren't you obeying my mental commands?* -- Bun-Bun (thinking): What's his problem? Obsidian Teknokon: His problem appears to be that I am not following his mental commands. I obey thoughts of clearest strength and closest proximity. Bun-Bun (thinking): What are you?!? -- Carver: Why the silend [sic: should be "silent"] treatment? ohhh I /understand/ now! I thought you were a robot sent to obey my whims but you are /alive,/ and did it out of /kindness./ -- Obsidian Teknokon: ..cite-ken4000 Bio-Teknokon interface device and systems operational... Bun-Bun (thinking): Bla-bla-bla, you basically obey my thoughts, right? Obsidian Teknokon: Yes. Bun-Bun (thinking): Pipe down and let me handle this. -- Carver: *How could I have been so terrible?* Can you ever forgive me... my... friend? -- Bun-Bun (as the Obsidian Teknokon): Uh... Too late for that, Nerd-Goat. You're in *so* much trouble! -- Carver: *No! I /*beg*/ of you seek not vengeance on my people!* Bun-Bun/Obsidian Teknokon: *I shall seek vengeance on you all if you don't put any valuables,* including pies, *in this sack and point me towards the nearest ship.* </End flashback> -- Uncle Time: Heh, stupid Carver! Then you got a ship, a crew, "found yourself" and the rest is history. Bun-Bun: Can I go home now? Uncle Time: One last question. Why didn't you tell yourself who you were the whole time? -- Bun-Bun: If some guy came up to me claiming to be my future self I'd sense a setup and toss him overboard, figuring if he /was/ me I would have expected that. Uncle Time: And this way turned out so much better, huh? -- Uncle Time: Few people get to truly spend so much time with themselves. What a unique chance grow as a person. Bun-Bun: I don't know what you're talking about. -- Uncle Time: I KNOW, AND IT'S WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE BUNNY EVER! Bun-Bun: This is your last chance to send me home peaceful-like, chuckles. <KA-CLICK!> Uncle Time: OK-OK... -- (Bun-Bun looks around) -- Uncle Time: What are you looking for, Bun-Bun? Having second thoughts about anything? (Bun-Bun is erect and sniffing the air) -- Bun-Bun: No, just making sure a third me wasn't showing up. I want out of here for good. Uncle Time: Good point! If there were three of [sic: should be "of you"] you'd be a serial offender. Lit up crowbar label: Ouch! -- <**KRAK**> (Uncle Time bats Bun-Bun out of timeless space) -- Cereal Box: Breakfast of emo kids | DEFEATIES | Toy surprise inside | Who cares <**SNAPAL**> (Someone is pouring cereal out of the box) -- (Bun-Bun falls out of the cereal box into a bowl of cereal and milk) <**PLOP**> Label on the cereal bowl: I Hate Mornings -- Bun-Bun: I hate Uncle Time. *And who puts milk in the bowl first?!?* Gwynn (grimacing): Last time I buy cereal /*just*/ because I have a coupon. (The coffee cup next to the bowl has the Pun Demon on it) === Side note: *END: A STEP TO THE SIDE* | Flag | ||||
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=== Pete: It's a big question. -- Pete: How do you follow up conquering the /world?/ | I mean, you had /everything.../ and /lost it all./ Pete: You've always had something to look /forward/ to, some way to prove you were tougher than /ever./ | But now... now /what?/ -- Georg (thinking): As my tears ran dry, I began to see. -- Pete: I don't have the answer... but I have an answer. | Let me live, and I promise you'll find a new, exciting purpose in life. Bun-Bun: ...Deal. -- <**CLK**> -- <**CHK**> (Bun-Bun puts his switchblade away) -- (Pete stands in silence) -- (Bun-Bun glares at him) -- (Bun-Bun really glares at him) -- Bun-Bun (his switchblade out anew): Of course, "letting you live" still gives me flexibility... -- Pete: Um... | I'm drawing this strip... Try anything and I'll turn you into a banner ad. Bun-Bun: You think I don't know substitute credits when I see them? -- Bun-Bun (lunging forward with his switchblade): I'm looking *forward* to this. <****SHK****> -- Georg (thinking): He was telling me, as clearly as he could. Georg (thinking): He wasn't a sage, he didn't talk that language. Georg (thinking): He was a cartoonist... -- Zoë: I'm sorry, Riff. | I was just... scared. Frustrated... We /lost/ him... Zoë: I had to bite /someone's/ head off. Kiki (leaping away): *EEEK! I LIKE MY HEAD!* -- (Riff grabs the Torg-lifesign detector away from Zoë and tosses it across the room) <**SHK**> -- (The Torg-lifesign detector breaks as it hits the floor) <***KRAK***> -- (Riff clenches his fist) -- (Riff turns away from Zoë in hurt frustration; Zoë removes her goggles) -- (Zoë reaches for Riff) -- (Zoë hugs Riff; Gwynn stands awkwardly a few feet away) -- Georg (still floating; thinking): He spoke in the language of moments. Georg (thinking): Of shared pains and light amusements. Georg (thinking): Straightforward language has no Grand Answer for dealing with loss... -- Georg (floating above the words "Is It Not Nifty?"; thinking): But life does. Georg (thinking): Life with all its little charming incidents, its quirks, its delights. Georg (thinking): Its... -- (A bird's-eye view of Georg floating over "IS IT NOT NIFTY?") -- Georg (thinking): The pain is still there. Georg: But for the first time, I feel stronger. Georg: I look back at the images of our time together like the panels in an archive. (A montage of pictures/images of Georg's life with Mary Sue) -- Georg (waking up with his head on the keyboard; thinking): The keys on the board feel like a kiss on the cheek. -- Georg (waking up; thinking): It's morning. -- (Georg goes into the bathroom) <**SLAM**> -- (Georg takes a shower) Footnote: END === Note: /The Sluggite Koan,/ Written by _T Campbell_ <http://www.tcampbell.net/>, illustrated by _H.S. Kim_ <http://krazykimchi.com/>. | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg: I stand corrected! -- (Teresa is happily swimming naked) -- Torg (recalling his initial encounter with a naked Oasis; thinking): The Oasis-vibe I'm getting from Teresa is downright creepy! -- Zoë: Torg! Torg: *Hey Zoë!* -- (Over the next three panels, Zoë talks to Torg; Torg stares in the direction of Teresa; Zoë's attention eventually shifts from Torg to the direction in which he's staring...) Zoë: I wanted to talk to you about Gwynn. She's carrying the Book of E-ville around all the time. And she's acting weird. She's told everyone about the 'Deal with the Book' she made, where Farahn's offering her more power. And I know she's keeping that plant around, dangerous as it is, because it's a safe zone for her incase [sic: should be "in case"] the Book is trying to ... magically influence her... What are you looking at? === NOTE: Ref: _Oasis Flashback_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/990923>. DEFENDERS: look for a BLOG POST tomorrow! | Flag | ||||
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Riff: Yep. Isabella (holding a wrapped box): I got you a going-away present. -- Kiki (attempting to hug Bun-bun): **BUN-BUN!!! RIFF AND I'LL MISS YOU /SOOO MUCH!/** <***WOOOSHHH*GLOM!****> <*Poing!*> -- Gwynn (with Bun-Bun now on her shoulder): Kiki, stop hugging my leg. Bun-bun, thanks for not stabbing Kiki for trying to hug you. Bun-Bun: Theres [sic: should be "There's"] enough weepiness going on in this room, no need to add a skewered tube-rat to the 'feels' pile. Bun-Bun: Well-well! Look over there, witchy-poo! Torg and Zoë made the party after all! | Flag | ||||
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=== </Begin Kiki's fantasy> Torg, Zoë, Riff, and Bun-bun (tied up together): /**HELP US, KIKI!**/ Captain Botanical (lifting up leaves with fists at the end to use magic): You gots /'the feels'/ for your friends, Commander Kiki! That is why /*you will lose!*/ Kiki (wearing a helmet and wielding a sword): You are /wrong/, Captain Botanical! Kiki: I used to go for 'the feels', but now I go for *'the knows'*, and I 'know' your time is up! -- Captain Botanical: You *can't* go for my nose. /I don't have one./ Kiki: But I /can/ go for your arm,... (Kiki cuts off a leaf-arm) Kiki: ... and now you don't have it either. Nor can you spell "know", /nave!/ -- Captain Botanical (magic coming from the remaining leaf-arm): K-N-A-V-E! And I'm /magic! Of course/ I can *spell!* (Kiki lifts her sword...) -- Kiki (cutting off other leaf-arm): Not /now!/ *You're /completely/ disarmed!* </End Kiki's fantasy> -- Aylee: /Kiki?!?/ *What* are you doing in Gwynn's bathroom? -- Kiki (on top of the tank part of the toilet, still with the helmet and sword, next to a wilting, tiny Captain Botanical, whose cut leaves are falling to the toilet seat): Crap. Written on flower pot: CAPPY BO === NOTE: Ref: _Cappy Bo' starts (chapterwise) HERE-ish_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/140915> | _Cappy Bo' last seen_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/150928>. | Flag | ||||
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<shattered memory fragment> (A gun goes off) Oasis: *It's nothing like that, Katie! It's true love! Love that hurts so much. -- Oasis: *Everything around me dies! I won't risk him dying because of me! I have to stay away from him and it's /RIPPING ME UP INSIDE!/* -- <Shattered memory fragments> (Torg attempts to give Oasis flowers after finding her bathing or skinnydipping in a river) (Oasis gets angry) (Oasis chokes Steve Hereti) (Torg dodging bullets) (Oasis screams after getting blown up by Riff's robot - her anguish sets Zoë on fire) (Torg at the window of the insane asylum) (Oasis falling from a cliff after getting skewered by Gwynn's magic rage at Torg and Oasis' "wedding) -- Oasis: ****GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!**** -- (In the middle of all of this Kareen sits by the pool with headphones on - listening to "<musical note> ...head like a hole... <musical note> <musical note> - and reading a magazine, oblivious to what is going on inside the house) Magazine Cover: PARENTZ | Mom of the Year Edition -- Katie: I'm sorry! *I'm sorry! /Please stop!/* -- Katie: Are you... OK? Oasis: I... think I... -- Oasis: /I killed him!/ Katie: *Torg?!?* -- Oasis (crying): /I killed Dr. Steve!/ The man who made me into a killer. I /crushed his throat! My own father!/ Oasis: I don't know what I am but I'm not a robot. If I was, this wouldn't /hurt/ so much. === NOTE: Ref: _Torg with Flowers_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19990923> | _Oasis Falls_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20000528> | _Torg at the Window_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/020218> | _Oasis Screams_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/090804> | _The End of Dr. Steve_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19991017> (remastered). | Flag | ||||
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Engineer: They weren't human! They were some kind of monsters but with animas! I saw them oozing off into the woods. -- </Flashback> The gang (covered in marshmallow fluff; running away): ***RUN AWAY!*** Engineer: What in tarnation?!? </End flashback> -- Zoe: I can't believe we survived that! Daebo: Daebo not understand. Do trains /*not*/ stop when things on track where you are from? Gwynn: Whats [sic: should be "What's"] with this 'marshamllow-fluff' [sic: should be "'marshmallow-fluff'"] dissolving? Riff: It's my quick dissipating insta-marshmallows! It quickly breaks down into inert gas. -- Torg: Even the marshmallow in our stomachs? .... (*)urp(*) ... (*)*BURP*(*) ... Riff: You guys didn't eat any of it, did you? -- The Gang: **BURP** *****BURPITTY***** (*)**URP**(*) **BURP** ****BURP**** ****BURP**** **URP** ****BELCH!**** -- Man from train: What /ungodly roars!/ The monsters are still nearby and *they sound angry!* Engineer: Instead of waiting for the tow car, let's let the train nudge the half-car aside. I'll tell the other engineers we're taking it slow, but /*we are leaving!*/ -- (Daebo, annoyed, pulls Kiki off of him) <***SLORP!***> -- Daebo (handing over a limp Kiki to Torg): Daebo wonders whats [sic: should be "what's"] wrong with sticky Kiki! Torg: When she eats too much sugar, like with marshmallows, it 'over-hypers' her. At least she didn't break the sound barrier this time Daebo: Daebo saw her shake, go blurry, and almost vanish! -- Riff: I surmise the sugar from the marshmallow-fluff Kiki ate sent her into a vibrating phase-state where her molecules fused with the marshmallocules, altering her DNA and making her perpetually sticky forever. Kiki: That makes me sad. -- Riff: Or she just needs a bath. Kiki: That makes me sadder. Riff (sticking Kiki onto Torg's jacket): Torg? Watch her for me? -- Daebo: Daebo sad too. This is goodbye. | Flag | ||||
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Riff: I'll page you. -- Riff: Well, we can visit Gwynn in about an hour. Do you think Zoë is still bummed? Torg: I think it was *nice* of you to let Zoë stop off in the past just long enough to take her finals. Riff: Yeah, she did really badly, but at least she didn't flunk out! -- Caption: A few months ago... Dex: How'd you do on the history exam? Zoë: I would have done better if it wasn't for the essay question about *"The War of the Bug Squishers".* I never even heard of it! It wasn't in my notes! -- Torg: I thought I loved her, I mean *really* loved her. Maybe Val just became built up in my mind. When I saw her again... before... she acted differently toward me. I guess things just weren't the same between us, and now I don't know how I feel. -- Riff: Maybe you just thought you loved her because you thought she loved you. Torg: Yeah. Look, it might have caused all kinds of paradoxes and messed with our present to try and save her, but still, was it the *right* thing to do? -- Riff: Right? I dunno. Effective? It depends how time works. Does time like to be changed? Does it fight to "right" itself? Does it let the little stuff slide? When you change time, does it create a tangent timeline? Or is time absolute, and you were always destined to travel to the past, yet not save her? -- Torg: *Hey,* we have a Time Machine now! Let's find out! Riff (holding up a bandaged thumb): I would but I accidentally popped it with a stale jagged Dorito. Stuck my thumb too. Ouch. -- Torg: *Darn it!* Damn inflatable technology. But the food sounds *good!* I think I got some jagged crab legs in the fridge. Riff: Just don't nuke 'em in the inflatable microwave. -- Title Panel: This has been a Sluggy Freelance presentation | The Storm Breaker Saga | The End -- Caption: Epilogue: Lady Valerie: *But you are far too sick to go into battle!* Lord Torgamous: The Trents are demoralized. We were both weakened greatly by the war, but their King is dead and the evil has left. -- Torgamous: *Now* is the time to take the valley. -- Torgamous: Of course I'd be better outfitted if you hadn't given that traitorous Pheasant my best armor, sword, and horse! -- Valerie: I'm sorry, but I had a dream last night, a *horrible* dream! Torgamous: You know I love you more than life, but your dreams cannot outweigh the fate of Mercia. -- Valerie: My lord, I fear for your life in this battle! Torgamous: Fear not, Valerie! I shall return. -- <**GLITCH!**> Soldier: Lord Tourgamous [sic: should be "Torgamous"] just accidentally impaled himself on his own spear! *He's dead!* (Lysinda looks on from a dark balcony beside a banner, red with crossed yellow spears) -- Lysinda: You will now have a choice to make, Lady Valerie. | Flag | ||||
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=== NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. | Flag |
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